


Left Behind

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, I don't like how Sylv was treated by the localisation, I'm more comfortable writing her as a gal, I'm really sad and so is Erik, Introspection, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spoilers, This was written by a trans person, Trans Female Character, let me have my one canon trans character, like a lot of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-07 18:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Major spoilers for the beginning of Act 3/the postgame! Please don't read this if you haven't gotten to that part yet!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, basically, I finished the postgame a few days ago, and the fact that it's confirmed that the timeline a time traveller leaves, like, stays there, really bothered me because of how Eleven basically just abandoned the first timeline. And because I am so sad I decided to write this. Sorry if it's a bit OOC; this is the first fic I've posted for an actual fandom, holy moly! Even so, I hope you like to suffer as much as I do!!

In a flash of bright white light, Eleven was gone. Straight up gone. The Sword of Light had shattered into pieces upon contact with the Time Sphere, but it clanged to the floor in one piece. An uncomfortable silence filled the chamber.

It was hard to believe, or maybe the word was _comprehend_. Erik almost wished that he was imagining this, that when he shook out of it, Eleven would still be there, that when he reached his hand out to test the waters, he wasn’t greeted by empty space. Nobody wanted to be the first to speak- to be the first to acknowledge that the Luminary had disappeared, transported to a different timeline. Erik had half-expected that when Eleven went back, their world would cease to exist- if it was going to, it was taking its sweet time. He’d half-hoped that he didn’t have to continue on without Eleven.

 _“This isn’t goodbye!”_ Erik had said. But really, it was. Eleven wasn’t coming back.

 _It’s for the best,_ he thought, _the world will be a better place where he is._

So where did that leave them? The Timekeeper craned their head at the group, still frozen still in shock.

Serena closed her eyes and shook her head before clearing her throat. “Now we just have to pray that Eleven will be safe. That he’ll forge a better future.” _But not for us_ went unsaid. Serena would never see her sister again. It was a different Serena who’d benefit from this, who’d never have to know the anguish of losing the one dearest to her.

It was selfish of him. He couldn’t will himself to speak; he was in his shelter with Mia all over again, watching her body slowly turn to gold as he could do nothing but watch. He was in the hold of the Stallion surrounded by strangers claiming they knew and loved him. He was sitting by her bedside, waiting for his sister to wake up after she almost killed him.

A clap snapped Erik out of it. “Alright darlings, chins up!” He turned towards Sylvia, who’d put on her best smile. “We all agreed to this! Little old Ellie wouldn’t want us sulking about because of him. So pep up, and let’s do something!”

But what could they do? All Erik’s life, he’d needed direction. He’d needed a goal. First, it was to be free from his enslavement to the Vikings, then it was to find a way to heal his sister, then it was to find and then help the Luminary in his quest. Now that his goals had all been completed, there was nothing for him to do. He wouldn’t go back to being a petty thief- he was better now. Would he go back to Mia? Take her up on that promise of treasure hunting and adventure?

He guessed so. He guessed that after this, Jade and Hendrik would go back to help restore Heliodor to its former glory, Rab would begin rebuilding Dundrasil (though without their crown prince, Erik wasn’t sure how that would go), Serena would return home to Arboria, and Sylvia would pick up her soldiers of smile from her father’s home and continue her noble quest.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, suddenly startled. Jade looked at him with sympathetic eyes, and despite how long they’d all known each other by now, Erik still wasn’t entirely comfortable with this whole ‘deserving love’ thing. It had embarrassingly been outed after Yggdrasil’s fall and his temporary amnesia, but he’d covered it all up masterfully. That was one of the qualities of a master thief- learn how to deceive others. And he’d been deceiving everyone except Eleven, who was privy to his deepest insecurities and hopes and desires.

The Timekeeper looked at the six with something akin to pity, as piteous as the expression of an expressionless white blob could convey. That was their cue to leave.

“I say we leave this tower to regroup,” Rab said carefully. “We could be able to ride Cetacea back to Luminary’s Landing. Serena, lassie, does that sound alright?”

Serena nodded curtly. “Arboria is as good a place as any, I suppose.”

And so they left the tower behind, Serena picking up the Sword of Light as they went. It would probably stay in Arboria as a relic, now; since the First Forest was destroyed, there was no way back up to the Heart of Yggdrasil, no way to put it back in its rightful place. Sylvia and Hendrik stayed close together, their conversation hushed, though Erik could clearly see that the knight had said something to irk his companion. Rab kept his head up, though everyone could tell he was holding back the urge to sob. He had lost the only blood family he’d had left, though nobody wanted to say it out loud. If they did, it would be true, and the truth was ugly. Jade seemed like she wanted to say something to the old man, but realising that nothing could really reassure him right now, she stayed quiet. Serena led the way, and she played the Calamus Flute to summon Cetacea in Eleven’s place. The huge flying whale arrived promptly, and they travelled in silence back south, to the Arborian mountains where they’d have to explain how the Luminary had left this world behind. (Abandoned was too harsh of a word. Erik didn’t want to think about being abandoned by Eleven.)

The rest of the day was a blur. Serena, calm, composed, mature Serena, did much of the explaining. Father Benedictus expressed sombreness, but acceptance and understanding. (“It is the Luminary’s duty to protect the world from Darkness, after all. He did the right thing. You did the right thing.”) At night, all but Serena stayed at Arboria’s small inn (visitors were rare in such a remote part of Erdrea, after all, it didn’t need to be large), with the sage in question deciding to go to her parents' house for the night. (“Poor darling…” Sylvia had muttered as she left, assumedly about how they couldn’t really bring back her twin sister. The hope they’d momentarily had when learning about the Time Sphere had been swiped away as she learned that she would have to stay behind.)

While the rest of the party settled down inside the inn, Erik decided to sit alone on the balcony. It was a chilly night (nothing he wasn’t used to), and the white marble village that sprawled out below him was quiet. The festivities that were rampant just a few weeks prior had now all but ceased, and cleanup work after the destruction of Yggdrasil had really begun. The chunks of flaming debris that had scattered across the lands near to the crash site had started to disappear, at least here, with the people deciding collectively to work together to salvage together everything that had broken after the end of the world. Erik sighed and put his head in his hands; he wished so dearly that he could have been sterner, collapsed to Eleven’s will less easily. He wished that he could have stopped him, because everything was about to get better here, and Eleven didn’t _need_ to go back in time. Sure, countless people had been killed, including their friend… but Erik was a selfish man, and the Luminary had _become_ his life. Eleven had saved him from despair, allowed him the forgiveness he’d been searching for for so long, and for that, he decided he’d forever devote himself to him and his cause.

Secretly, he wished he could have gone with him.

Erik looked up at the sky. Yggdrasil was behind him, and there was no red star in the sky, no sign of any Luminary, Erdwin or Eleven. There was nothing but blue-blackness and a blanket of white dots, whispy clouds brightened by the light of the moon. It was empty, and terrifying.

He wondered if Eleven was seeing a similar sky. It was illogical- the sky changed nightly, and where he was, Erdwin’s Lantern still hung above the atmosphere. He probably wouldn’t even be in Arboria at this point. It was still a nice thought. A comforting thought, he supposed.

Was Eleven thinking of him, just as he was thinking about Eleven? Did he already miss him? What was his alternate timeline self- the Erik that Eleven now knew- thinking? An endless barrage of questions like this whizzed in his mind. Goddess, this was all wrong.

“Erik, honey, it’s cold out there. And it’s late. I think we all need some rest, hm?” Sylvia’s voice echoed from inside.

Erik’s heart tugged. He grew up in the far north; the breezy nights of the mid-latitudes were nothing compared to winters of the Snaerfelt. Sylvia should know this by now- perhaps it was just a slip of the tongue. He got where she was coming from, anyway.

“I’ll just be a sec,” Erik said half-assedly back. Sylvia, mother hen that she was, was probably deathly worried about him, but he didn’t look back to see her expression. He could see it clearly in his mind, though.

There were things he didn’t want to think about, too. He couldn’t think about Eleven’s bright blue eyes or the softness of his lips, because it caused a sharp pain in his chest, and he couldn’t cope with that. With one last sigh, he hauled himself up and put on a face of calm. He wasn’t internally losing his shit; he was fine. His companions could see through it clear as day, but none of them commented.

He hoped that he could get some rest. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!! I had some life stuff come up and not enough time to write but this chapter is longer than the last! I hope it's alright :')

Erik tried to sleep. He really did. But despite his best efforts, it wasn’t long before he’d got out of bed, pulled on his boots, picked up his knives, and made a beeline for the exit of the inn. It wasn’t like he was needed here anymore. 

 

Light-footed as he was, he didn’t wake the rest of the party up as he tip-toed down the stairs and out the door. He took a deep breath of the cold night air, just to clear his head- he’d been fine alone for five years, he’d be able to make it back down to Sniflheim without anyone helping him. It felt bad to leave without saying goodbye- but what else could he have done? Just tagged along with the others as they tried to look on the bright side of things, towards a future they’d have in Heliodor, or Dundrasil, or across the world making people laugh and smile? Sorry, but Erik was just fine without feeling like being punched in the gut with all of that when he frankly wasn’t in the mood. 

 

He was sure he’d be alright when he and Mia had reconnected and found a new goal, travelled a bit and won treasures beyond their wildest dreams. Though whilst gold and jewels had always been enough for Mia to be satisfied, Erik had grown up, and now that superficiality wasn’t what he wanted. He loved seeing his little sister happy, of course- he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. ( _ He _ still didn’t really deserve to be happy. He’d had every chance to stop Eleven, but he’d not been good enough. He’d not been worth staying for.) He’d have to stop living for Eleven and start living for Mia again. It would take a while, and it would hurt, but he’d be able to do it. He’d be fine.

 

“Erik? What are you doing out here?” 

 

Erik halted in his tracks, abruptly thrown out of his brooding.  _ Clearly, I wasn’t sneaky enough,  _ he thought as his heart sank when he saw Serena, walking down the steps that led up to the small circular grove where she’d cut her hair off almost two months ago. Her voice was slightly wobbly, so Erik figured that Serena herself wasn’t quite alright either, though he couldn’t make out in the low lighting whether she’d been crying or not.

 

Prompted by his seeming inability to respond, Serena continued on towards Erik, stopping just in front of him. She was shorter than him by an inch or two, but even so the way she stared at him made his hairs stand on end.

 

“Can’t sleep.”

 

“Oh, come on Erik, if you were just going for a three A.M. stroll you wouldn’t have brought your knives with you,” Serena huffed disappointedly. Erik let out the tension he’d built up, and his shoulders sagged.

 

“Don’t try and stop me.” He said simply.

 

Serena sighed and looked down, annoyed. Erik held back the urge to roll his eyes or just storm past her, because that would be rude, and he knew better. 

 

Without warning, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him back up the steps. He didn’t protest, just followed the stern girl’s lead. She settled back down where she had been sitting before, and pat the spot next to her. An invitation.

 

“Erik, you can’t keep everything bottled up. Look where that got you last time.”

 

What, she expected him to open his heart to her? Last time, nobody needed to know about Mia. That was his problem, and it wouldn’t have been fair to make anyone else shoulder his troubles.

 

Almost as if she was reading his mind, she stated, “Please. It isn’t healthy.”

 

Erik sighed, and he reluctantly sat next to Serena. At least they could see Yggdrasil from here, glowing faintly in the distance.

 

She rolled back her shoulders, seemingly getting herself comfortable. “I was about to go to sleep, but I’m glad I caught you. Now, I’m not going to stop you from leaving, I just need to make sure you’re okay,” She said slowly. “I know you and Eleven were closer than the rest of us.”

 

He felt his cheeks heat up.  _ Well, closer is one way to put it.  _ “Yeah.”

 

“And… I’m not trying to invalidate your loss, but we’ve all sacrificed too.” She paused, chewing her lip for a moment. “It’s still… Tough to swallow that Veronica really can’t come back, at least for us. But right now, for  _ Eleven _ , she’s alive and we’re all happy. They aren’t  _ gone _ \- they’re still out there.”

 

“But I’m going to miss him.” Tumbled from his mouth before he could even think about it. “I already miss him.” 

 

Erik wasn’t looking at Serena when she tiredly rested her head on his shoulder, and though the sensation reminded him too much of Eleven for comfort, he didn’t shrug her off. He almost felt like crying, but he wouldn’t. He’d held back the waterworks until now, and he was going to continue to do so for as long as possible. And he wasn’t going to cry in front of Serena. He wasn’t.

 

“I understand.” She said softly.

 

Well, here come the waterworks. Those two words- he just couldn’t stop himself from welling up. He pulled his sleeve down into his palm and wiped at his eyes. He wouldn’t let himself cry more than this.

“I know I just said all that about them being okay, and all, but… I get it. I do, Erik. Although she’s still with me through her powers, I’m going to miss Veronica for the rest of my life,” Serena mumbled, voice breaking slightly. 

 

They sat in silence for a while. Erik figured it was good for Serena to talk to someone instead of just crying alone in the middle of the night, and compared to the voluntary loss of Eleven, the death of her sister was a much worse event. Considering everything, she’d handled it incredibly well, though the question of whether a teenage girl should  _ have  _ to handle the death of her twin the way she did was up for debate. Erik knew what it was like to lose a sister, but he’d also gotten her back. Maybe Serena had hoped for something similar. That wasn’t what she got.

 

After some time- Erik really wasn’t sure how long exactly- Serena lifted her head off his shoulder and rubbed her eyes. “I’m tired,” she murmured with a yawn. She then turned to face him, looking him in the eyes-  _ she really did look exhausted _ \- “If you’re going to go, you should probably start heading off now. I’ll get you some things.”

 

“You really don’t have to, Serena,” He replied awkwardly. 

 

“No, Erik, I want to. You aren’t making it to Sniflheim with no supplies, and if the others find your iced body on the way down there themselves, I’m going to feel awful and blame myself for not helping you.”

 

Erik groaned. “Fine, fine.” 

 

Serena smiled weakly. “Good. I’ll just head back home and get you a bag.” She turned to leave, but then stopped and looked back at Erik over her shoulder. “Are you sure you want to go alone?”

 

He nodded. He still felt bad, but the weight on his chest had been somewhat lifted. “I am, yeah.”

 

That was good enough for her, because she hurried off, leaving Erik to make his own way down to her house when he was ready. He ran a hand through his hair, tired and lost but a little less alone. Despite what his head constantly told him about being a burden ( _ which embarrassingly came out during his amnesiac stage, but he’d waved it off as a side effect and not some inherent trait he buried deep inside himself _ ), he, perhaps foolishly, felt reassured. Reassured that someone cared about him. It felt strange, because he really hadn’t been close to anyone except Eleven (apart from the bickering with Veronica and the coddling from Sylvia), but it wasn’t bad.

 

He heaved himself off the cold stone, clicking his back and taking one last glance at Yggdrasil as he turned back to head towards Serena’s. Despite his earlier bout of emotion, he felt kind of… hollow. Not much of anything. He just had to leave as soon as possible, and so he made his way through Arboria to find Serena waiting with a rucksack of things.

 

“You stay safe out there, Erik.” She stated in that stern voice of her’s as she handed it over. “I know you’ll look after Mia, but make sure to look after yourself too.”

 

He wasn’t going to acknowledge she’d just said that. Suddenly stiff and awkward at the statement, he managed to get out “Thanks, Serena. Take care.” before turning on his heel and heading for the Highlands. He didn’t look back to see the girl’s shoulder slump and eyebrows upturn in worry.

 

* * *

 

It was rough making his way through the expanses of mountain, grassland and then icy tundra alone. Erik would make camp at a couple places the party had rested before, and alone around the campfire without the sounds of laughter and banter was weird. He tried not to brood too much, but without any of his dumbass friends he’d left behind in Arboria it was hard to keep his mind from wondering.  _ How many days has it been now since Eleven left? I hope he’s alright. I hope he’s happy.  _

 

Erik found himself using his guile and wit to outsmart the monsters in the Snaerfelt, unlike when he’d not give or care about being subtle with the others. It had been…  _ Fun,  _ perhaps, to be so energetic and showy with his knife skills, to have the safety net of a strong group and a goal that didn’t require him to sleep with one eye open, because he had six (or seven, if Veronica still counted) more pairs looking out for him.  _ I’ll have Mia to look out for me soon enough, and me for her. One other person is all I need.  _

 

He knew it had been a long trek when even he’d been chilled to the bone when he arrived through the tunnel into Sniflheim. How he wanted to stay at the inn and have a warm bath and a home cooked meal, but he still felt like an unwanted outsider in the city. Tired as he was, he really didn’t have a choice but to press on, nick a small boat and trek through the Viking’s hideout to find Mia. Before they’d all left to go to the Tower of Time, he’d found her sulking in their old home, and she’d likely been waiting there since for him to come back and whisk her away on all the adventures she’d ever dreamed of.  _ I told Eleven we’d visit Cobblestone once it had been rebuilt, try out some of Amber’s stew and share all we’d experienced. It was going to be nice. Maybe after that Mia would have been old enough to go off on her own into the world, and I’d be able to stay with Eleven, just us two.  _

 

“Erik?”

 

He trudged through the door to find Mia sitting at their little table, but she quickly jumped to her feet and rushed over to her brother. 

 

“You’re back!!” She said, grinning. He smiled back- he really had missed her so much.

 

“Yeah, I sure am. For good this time.” 

 

Mia quirked an eyebrow. “For good? You mean you’re not with that Luminary guy anymore? I thought you liked him. But I’m not complaining!”

 

Erik didn’t know what to say to that, Mia’s insensitivity bristling. But she was still only a kid, really ( _ she’d be the same age as Eleven if she’d never turned to gold, that’s fucking weird _ ), and she knew no better, so he forced himself to relax and wrapped his arms around her. She seized up for a moment, probably in shock, before settling down into the hug.

 

“Hey, Erik, what’s that for?” She asked over his shoulder.

 

“Just missed ya, kiddo.”

 

“I only saw you last a few weeks ago!!”

 

Erik stopped to wonder why he’d just hugged her- he supposed it was normal, given other siblings would hug all the time, and he might’ve just been a bit touch starved after the long trip alone down from Arboria. 

 

Mia pulled herself from out of the hug. “Bro, you’re acting kind of weird.” She looked actually concerned, unlike her normal carefree demeanour he was accustomed to as normal. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Erik sighed, but a bittersweet smile still played on his lips. “I’m fine, just a bit tired. I just need some time to warm up a bit after that trek, then I can begin showing you the world and all it’s treasures, yeah?”

 

He knew she could still sense something was amiss, but she dropped the issue. “Sounds great, big bro. I can’t wait.”

 

He couldn’t either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Comments, kudos etc are always appreciated. 
> 
> I forgot to add this last chapter, but you can find me on tumblr @trans-mista if you wanna chat! I don't bite. I'm also planning on hosting a Dragon Quest discord server which I'll likely post here next chapter.
> 
> Seeya next time !

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, sub, comment etc etc if you liked !! I wanna write more of this, with Erik & co actually coping and living their lives without the Luminary, so let me know if you'd be down to clown with that.


End file.
